Twitter is Broken

To those of you that use Twitter:  Who has seen this screen?

I think Twitter might be broken.  There are so many ways to login now:  through facebook, on your cell phone, on your blackberry, via smoke signals, telepathy, etc.  Apparently that has led to the site becoming "over-capacity." To illustrate what "over-capacity" means, we are given that picture. 

Those poor birds can't carry that duggum whale.  We all know that.  That whale is going down.  And it doesn't look like it's going down into water.  It's looks like lava!  Whales don't live in lava.  They'll burn up in lava for sure.  I don't know why the whale is smiling about that.  Moving on to the birds.  They clearly look like they're up to no good with their beady little eyes and their indecision on which way to fly.  That whale's not gonna make it.  Does that mean Twitter is going to fail as well? 

Anyway, maybe Twitter should stop allowing people to access the site in so many ways.  I don't know.  Call me old-fashioned, but whatever happened to accessing websites through home computers or laptops? 

On another note, if you enjoy jogging or running, make sure you tie your shoes tight.  It's a lesson I should have known, but I learned it in a practical way last night.  Let's just say that one second I was up, and the next, I was down.  Hard.

Come on in, the sauna's fine

I had just finished up a workout at the UA campus recreation center when I heard something that really disturbed me.

There's a sauna in the locker room that is frequented mostly by older folks at the gym.  I don't think younger folks like the sauna less; it's just that the younger crowd isn't as comfortable being naked in front of other naked dudes.  Therefore, the more mature fellas dominate the sauna in all their glory.

Friday was no different.  Two senior citizens had the sauna on lock-down when two younger guys (i'm guessing freshman or sophomores) decided to head in with there shirts and shorts on.  That's when I heard the following quote from one of the seniors inside that I'll refer to as "Floppy".

"Come on in boys.  You're going to need to lose those clothes, though."

Maybe it's just me, but when I heard that I immediately thought that if someone said that to me, I would not "come in."  I would in fact "go right out" as quickly as possibly.  This is not about homophobia or sexual preference.  That's a creepy quote, I don't care who you are. 

Slumber Parties and the Ford Flex

How did "Slumber Parties" get their name? Would anyone want to go to something called a "Sleeping Party," a "Shut-eye Party" or a "Hibernation Party"?  I don't believe so, but little girlies love them some "Slumber Parties."  And little dudes love them some "Sleep Overs" (also a strange name). 

"Slumber Party" just sounds morbid to me...Like something a bunch of zombies or ghosts would organize.  I'm sure goblins get tired of haunting people and walking around aimlessly.  I can see them being like, "Hey, let's have a party.  A slumber party.  Because we're all dead." 

Keeping with the death theme, what is up with Ford's new vehicle, "The Ford Flex"?  That is hearse disguised as a family crossover vehicle if i have ever seen one.

Seriously, I feel like anytime you drove one of these things around, people would just jump in line behind you to be a part of the funeral procession.

Uh-Oh SpagettiO's and Pint Size Bowlers

Will SpaghettiO's change its slogan now that 15 million pounds of the canned Italian delight have been recalled?  A cooker in one of their plants was jacked up and kept the batch from getting heated properly.  Result?  Salmonella.  Campbell's is responsible for making the product.  This recall is an embarrassment for Cambell's, because Salmonella is obviously not Mm-mm good.

Moving on.  I grabbed this flier from the bowling alley yesterday.

If they can guarantee that that kid with the incredible spectacles and distant stare will make an appearance at the bowling alley, I will go back every night until I see him. 

Background Noise

If you listen to enough country music, which I obviously do, you'll notice the voice of Vince Gill in strange places.  I thought about that this morning when I was listening to the radio and a Patty Loveless song came on.  Who's angelic voice was that in the background?  I thought it was "Gilly," but I used the world wide net web to verify my hunch.  Indeed, Vince is the one that provides heavenly harmony in the song I heard and several others.

Homeboy has a stellar solo career, but he still does background vocals because that's what he grew up doing.  I found some more info on "CountryHound.com" (who starts these websites???).  Anyway, Gill said "I generally don't turn down anything if I'm available, and that's because I did it for a lot of years. That's how I fed my family and paid for a house."

If you listen to country music, you would have heard Gill singing background for Carrie Underwood in "I told You So," Red Headed Reba in "Is there life out there?," Patty Loveless in "Timber, I'm Falling in Love," Sara Evans in "No Place That Far," and CONWAY frickin' TWITTY in "That's My Job."  Conway Twitty is such another fantastic topic.

Lastly, for one of the most awesome country music videos check out this link to One More Last Chance by Gill.  Watch out for the Possum King, George Jones towards the end.

Bluetooth Crazies

First of all, is this David Beckham in the picture I found when I searched "Bluetooth"?  I think it is. I'm about 92.8 % sure it's David Beckham.  He use to be the best at the world's favorite communist sport-soccer. 

Anyway, I've thought about this next topic A LOT.  When I was growing up, if someone was talking to their self in public, a couple of things would happen.  My mother would pull me closer to her side, and my father would watch that person with a weary eye.  Back then, we knew if somebody was talking to their self...something was wrong.  That person was a few bricks short of a load...Their elevator didn't go all the way to the top...They were a sandwich short of a picnic, if you will...A few clowns short of a circus...A few french fries short of a happy meal...They're not playing with a full deck...They're a couple goats short of a petting zoo...This could go on all day, but I won't allow it.  The point is, people who talk to their selves are crazies, weirdies, wack jobs, cranks, maniacs, lunatics, psychos, screwballs, crackpots, kooks, nuts, loony...ding-bats, ding-a-lings, freaks, bizzaros, etc.

The real point is that things aren't so cut and dry anymore because of Bluetooth technology.  When this phenomenon started, the headsets were so big, you KNEW that person was on the phone.  But now, their so small, you can't even see the things, especially if the person's head is turned a certain way.  So how do you know if you're in the midst of whack-o or a multi-tasker???  You definitely DO NOT want to stare.  Everyone knows if you stare at a crazy, things can get ugly.  You can't ask, obviously, unless you're a heartless prick.  So we have a problem.  What was once cut and dry is now kind of confusing.  You could try to befriend the person, but you might get more than you bargain for.  A crazy will follow you home, or try to sell you "scentless cologne" (aka tap water) or "invisible flowers" (aka nothing).  There's no easy way around this one.  If someone's talking to their self, they are either a padded room escapee or a tech-savvy business person. 

I guess, the message I've taken from this issue is that we're really not that different after all.  To be safe though, when in doubt, assume the person talking to their self wants to make a lamp shade out of your skin.  And then, walk away.  Quickly. 
 

"Hardly Working?"

You know what I love about fantasy baseball?  When you're web-surfing during work, fantasy baseball actually looks like a spreadsheet of sorts.  When I'm recreating, it looks like I'm working!  Fantasy baseball is the perfect option for waisting time while on the clock.  As a matter of fact, I'm on the clock right now.  Blogging is another great way to trick your supervisors.  It looks like your working on a word document when you're actually spreading worthless banter across the planet via the world wide net web.  Tremendous.

In other news, a cockroach the size of a pony interrupted my otherwise peaceful evening, yesterday.  After a 30 minute battle roy-al, I dispatched of the pest by using a book.  The book was not a good book, so instead of cleaning off the roach guts, I threw it away.  Ta-Ta For Now.  I'll Talk To You Later. 

Honey Badgers Will Kill You

I can't really talk much about the Honey Badger on muffinmatters.blogspot.com  because the Honey Badger is not an American animal.

However, I think about Honey Badgers all the time, so this blog is the right spot to discuss.  I'd like to thank Bill Lupin, Chase McGovern, and all the other idiots from the Northern part of Mecklenburg County for telling me about the honey badger.  I'd also like to thank Charlie Jones for taking my honey badger warnings seriously.  Unlike everyone else who laughs in my face and thinks this is all a joke, Charlie knows better.  He knows the Honey Badger is to be admired from afar and feared like crazy within 200 yards. 

 This blog is for thoughts, not diatribes, so let me sum up quickly with bullet points.

• The Guinness Book of World Records named the Honey Badger the most ferocious mammal on the planet not once but twice.
• Honey badgers regularly attack the insane hives of killer African Honey Bees just because they have a sweet tooth for honey and bee larva.
• Honey badgers will kill anything and rarely get killed.  They kill king cobras and puff adders all the time.  If they get bitten, the venom only slows them down and causes them to take brief little nappies. 
• They have also killed lions and humans.  FACT.  Not legend.  Fear the honey badger. 
•  They run 35 MPH.  Good luck if you see one, because it will be too late, sucker.  
• They kill larger mammals by SCROTUM ATTACKS.  Ladies, consider yourselves lucky.

Pegging

What if "pegging" was allowed in Major League Baseball?  "Pegging" is the term used in wiffle ball for throwing the ball at a base runner in order to get them out.  In wiffle ball, the worst thing that can happen is a brief sting from the contact made between plastic and flesh.  What if major league baseball continued to struggle with attendance to the point where they needed to try something new?  That new thing should be the allowing of "pegging" as a means to get someone out.  Obviously, you couldn't throw at their heads, but anywhere else is fair game.  I would watch so much more baseball if this were how MLB played. Can you imagine David Eckstein's tiny tail rounding third only to get knocked sideways by an Ichiro Suzuki rocket from right field.  OUT.

I thought about this because I was listening to Stephen Strasburg's second game (Washington Nationals vs. Cleveland Indians) today.  Adam Dunn hit a double and Shin Soo Choo's throw to second went over the bag un-touched because the terrible Indians had no one covering the bag.  It apparently came close to hitting Dunn. 

Chocolate Milk > Your overpriced protein shake

Multiple studies have shown that one of the most efficient and affordable post-workout supplements is....CHOCOLATE MILK!  I affectionately refer to it is choco-milk.  This does not mean it's the best way to re-hydrate; kinesiologists constantly insist the best way to do that is with water-not Gatorade, Powerade, or some other commercial sports drink.

Anyway, when it comes to taking care of your muscles, chocolate milk offers the perfect blend of protein and carbs.  It's almost exactly a 3:1 ratio of protein to carbohydrates which is exactly what you need.  You do not need the taurine, creatine, steroids, or sunshine dust that other protein shakes or bars claim to have.  Countless studies have been done.  Here's a link to one.  In short, Karp et. al. concluded that "chocolate milk is an affective alternative to [commercial drinks] for recovery from exhausting, glycogen-depleting exercise" (karp et. al., 2006).

Bird Feces

When birds dookie, do they also pee?  I mean I've never seen one cock up its leg and tinkle.  I've only seen them dump drop while in mid flight.  So is there both pee and the poop in a single aerial bombing? 

I looked up the answer.  According to exoticpetvet.net (real website), bird dookie is made up of 3 parts.  Part one:  the turd, or as they call it the "feces."  The second part is the white stuff called the urates.  It's a result of protein metabolism and comes through the kidneys.  The third part is the urine. 

Hope this helps

The George Foreman Grill is not special

The George Foreman Grill.  People love those little things, and Foreman is making his second living off of those rip-offs.  Absolute shams.  We've all been hoo-doed by the heavy weight champ. 

"Lean Mean Fat Grilling Machine?"  Are you kidding me?  The only reason they call it that is because it's an indoor grill and the fat runoff has to go into those disgusting pig troughs.  You know what happens on real grills???  The fat falls into the flames!  More fat drops into the flames of a gas or charcoal grill than goes into the lard troughs of a Foreman grill without question.  That 35 degree angle is meant to keep more fat in the food, thus making it taste better while also giving you the aesthetic pleasure of seeing a small portion of the lard excreted into the bowls. 

Ridiculous.  I want to knock George Foreman out right now...With a truck.

Liberty Mutual Commercial: Absurd

Why wouldn't this woman stop this dude from walking in front of a truck?  The point of the commercial is to encourage people to do good things for others, but if you need encouragement to stop someone from walking in front of a bus, you're beyond help.
Also, what is that idiot doing walking with headphones blaring and head down into a crosswalk?  Maybe I would let that dude walk in front of a truck.  Because he's an idiot.

Launch

Welcome to "Every Day I Think Things."  I'd like to first thank Evan Lutz for the title.  Evan started a blog with the same name around this time last year, but became too busy to maintain it.  The title was gold, and I've decided, without his permission, to run with it.

This will be a different format than Muffin Matters.  Muffin Matters is for more refined ideas and stories.  Not the case for Every Day I Think Things.  This blog will be full of quick hits.  The topics?  Anytime I think about something interesting or off the wall, I will immediately post it without filter.  Anything you think about...let me know.  Text me, e-mail me, call me, or if you absolutely have to, tell me to my face.

This should be fun.