Honey Badgers Will Kill You

I can't really talk much about the Honey Badger on muffinmatters.blogspot.com  because the Honey Badger is not an American animal.

However, I think about Honey Badgers all the time, so this blog is the right spot to discuss.  I'd like to thank Bill Lupin, Chase McGovern, and all the other idiots from the Northern part of Mecklenburg County for telling me about the honey badger.  I'd also like to thank Charlie Jones for taking my honey badger warnings seriously.  Unlike everyone else who laughs in my face and thinks this is all a joke, Charlie knows better.  He knows the Honey Badger is to be admired from afar and feared like crazy within 200 yards. 

 This blog is for thoughts, not diatribes, so let me sum up quickly with bullet points.

• The Guinness Book of World Records named the Honey Badger the most ferocious mammal on the planet not once but twice.
• Honey badgers regularly attack the insane hives of killer African Honey Bees just because they have a sweet tooth for honey and bee larva.
• Honey badgers will kill anything and rarely get killed.  They kill king cobras and puff adders all the time.  If they get bitten, the venom only slows them down and causes them to take brief little nappies. 
• They have also killed lions and humans.  FACT.  Not legend.  Fear the honey badger. 
•  They run 35 MPH.  Good luck if you see one, because it will be too late, sucker.  
• They kill larger mammals by SCROTUM ATTACKS.  Ladies, consider yourselves lucky.