Lots of people think their pets are "really smart," and that's fine. Some pets and animals are smart...relatively. Dogs can be trained to do amazing things...and they also lick themselves. Cats can open doors and windows, and scientists say they can recognize people they met several years before...They also climb trees they can't get out of. Dolphins can regonize themselves in mirrors: CNN Dolphin Video. Monkeys and honey badgers are known to use tools. On an on.
But what if animals were REALLY smart. Like, smart enough to screw with us. Seriously, some of them could jack us up if they got together and planned something. I'm most worried about eagles, monkeys, and lions. BULLET POINTS:
- Eagles: Can you imagine if 3 or more eagles teamed up for an aerial attack??? We'd have no chance. If they simply got together and picked out a single unsuspecting human victim, that human would not make it out alive. With those powerful talons, they could easily slice a jugular or pick a small person up...and then drop them.
- Monkeys: These guys could really screw with us. They already wreak havoc in the Caribbean-->
- What if they decided to make life miserable for some poor schmuck? They have opposable thumbs for goodness sake. They could tie you up, and then slap you in the face, just for kicks. Frightening.
- Lions: Whoa nelly. Freaking lions. If they gang up and decide to dominate the human race...we're dead. It's so simple, it's scary. I hope they don't read this. First, they team up on a zoo keeper. Boom, 3 or 4 of them are free. Then, they hop on a bus and go to another zoo in America and convince those lions to kill their zoo keeper, too. 3 or 4 more escape and then you've got a posse of angry, blood thirsty lions. At this point, they would have at least made the news so they'll have to start working at night. But still, they could slowly make their way across America freeing all the lions. At that point, they could surround houses and eat people all day. Even if you had several guns, you'd need a hefty caliber to drop a daggum lion. And if 1 or 2 of them goes down, another is swatting you in the face with a paw the size of your head. Lose-lose.
2 comments:
the only thing scarier than a group of drunken monkeys plotting to dominate humankind is a worldwide pride of lions doing the same.
excellent commentary. really hit the nail on the head with this one.
Eric, I can honestly say that I NEVER expected to get the comment, "really hit the nail on the head with this one," with any of my entries.
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